Ask The When I Grow Up Coach How did you overcome your fears as you started out coaching

Ask The When I Grow Up Coach How did you overcome your fears as you started out coaching Do Not Fear Mistakes There Are None by iota illustration It’s time for another installment of  Ask the When I Grow Up Coach! In this series, I pick one of  the questions that have been posed on Formspring (or sent to me directly) to feature here, until there are no questions left! Disclaimer: A few of the questions that have been posted are from other coaches or would-be coaches. While I’m absolutely happy to share my story and offer any advice I have on being a coach, I’m only gonna post the questions that can be applied more universally. Hope that’s helpful! Jessica Newell asked me: How did you overcome your fears as you started out coaching? What was it in your life that gave you the push to keep going? I dont even know where to start with this one (which means it was a real good question, Miss Jessica!). I think it can be summarized with this: I dont think I overcame my fears I think I used them as roadsigns and fuel. It was never about trying to crush what I call the Vampire Voices (aka the voices we have in our heads that suck the good stuff right out of us), but to subconsciously listen to them and have them tell me what I needed. My Vampire Voices stuck to 2 main things: falling on my face really quickly and not being able to pay my share of the mortgage/bills. Those were my 2 big fears, both leading to the biggest Vampire Voice of all: needing to go back to Corporate America once I left because I, um, fell on my face and wasnt able to pay my way. Thankfully I was nothing if not confident of getting a job if/when I needed it, even in a recession. Hey, theres an upside for having 7 jobs in 4 years, yaknowwhatImsaying? So, while going back to Corporate America would be the last thing I wanted to do, I knew I could do it if I had to. That was a huge confidence-booster. Since I had a firm Plan C (Plan B being to get a retail/restaurant job part-time while still working the other part-time on When I Grow Up), I then asked myself what I needed to shut those Vampire Voices up. What would prevent me from falling on my face? How can I ensure that Ill be able to pay my way? While I knew that I couldnt necessarily give myself a guarantee, I did know that I could give myself a big cushion/safety net: saving up what amounted to 5 months severance, hiring a professional website designer to give me a kick-ass online presence, and having enough consultation calls/clients coming in that I knew people knew I existed. It took me 2 years and 7 months, but I did those things and built that net, which made The Fears (and taking The Leap!) not so scary. Also, I did something every single day to keep me moving forward, so I got to literally see the progress being made. I saw my website numbers grow, my Twitter followers increase, the number of comments on each blog post go up, the booked consultation calls and my current client roster growit was tangible proof that my hard work was paying off, and I had no reason to believe that it would reverse itself upon doing it full-time. Built-in motivation/confirmation right there, which was huge for me to take deep breaths and believe that This Could Work. In terms of what gave me the pushwell, it was internal and external for sure. Honestly, Ive always been very independent and self-motivated and, thankfully, my parents have instilled in me a healthy dose of self-esteem, so once I knew that this is what I wanted this was The Passionate Grown-Up Career That Will Make Me Happy there was really no stopping me. I got a new job that supported this decision (aka one where I knew I didnt have to work nights/weekends or be tied to a BlackBerry or relentlessly travel or be beaten emotionally by a bullying boss) and enrolled in a life coaching certification program, cleared my schedule for classes and coaching and got to work. Thats just me its how I operate. I just refused to have a career that wasnt an extension of my passions and skills and what I loved doing, so there was no other path for me to take. Everything else was short-term and a stepping stone to help get me there. Externally, I had an extremely supportive live-in boyfriend (who s now my husband) and parents who 1000% believed in me, and that was a constant push in a very positive way. I honestly dont remember ever thinking that I couldnt do it. It was always a matter of when or how, never if. A formula: A healthy dose of self-confidence + an optimistic attitude + letting the Vampire Voices guide you to what you need +  tangible  proof of hard work = Vampire Slaying. -

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